“With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love.”

Ephesians 4:2

The holidays are over—time to do some reflecting. How did you do? Not with your diet or gift-giving or decorating. Instead, grade yourself on your interactions with others. Did you pass with flying colors? Fail? Crash and burn??? The holiday season, if you listen to the song, is the most wonderful time of the year. And, this can be true. But it can also be the hardest and most stressful.

So, how did you do? Did you navigate the stress? The schedule? The chaos? I love the eternity that exists between Christmas and New Year’s. And, I equally love that my kids returned to school this morning and some semblance of normalcy has returned. Or, at least I pray this is the case. How about you?

If I’m honest, I was handing out apologies with my gifts this year. Stress got to me and got the better of me more than I care to admit. I know I’m not the only one that saves the very worst of me for those whom I love the very most. I rarely lose my cool with strangers or friends the way I do with my children and even my wife.

So, what grade do you give yourself? And, of course, don’t miss the trap. According to today’s scripture, the rubric doesn’t smile kindly upon pride either. I guess we can’t win. Thank goodness Jesus holds us still, yes?!

Today, I want to look at the word “bearing.” It has several different definitions that all pertain to how we love one another. But, before unpacking this, I think it is important to remember that loving one another is not a general expression. Loving one another takes specificity. It is not a general love of everyone. It is a specific love of the one you are sitting across from in the lunchroom. It is the expressive care you show to the car that just cut you off; the person waiting on you at the restaurant; and the neighbor you see as you take your recycling bin back to the garage. The universal appeal of love finds its power in specificity.

With this, let’s dive into the power and truth of “bearing with one another in love.”

Bearing has to do with your posture towards someone or something. It is how you stand. Most often it is used of our military and the precision with which they stand at attention. What does it mean to love others with such a keen attention to detail? When I was a child, Tim was the first person I knew personally who went into the military. I was in awe of him and all the things I knew that he was getting into as he enlisted. Boot Camp. The uniform. The exactness in everything he had to do. I even remember him telling me about the consequences if his uniform was not pressed to perfection. Everything that Tim and his fellow soldiers had to do carried a significant bearing and approach.

Is there a way for you and I to practice a similar exactness to our love and care for others?

Bearing also has to do with relevance. In court, various evidence is deemed relevant or not relevant according to criteria. It is said to have bearing or no bearing on the issue at hand. How you treat others always has bearing. It always matters. It never takes a day off. Of course there is grace; there is always grace for our failings. But God is less concerned with our results as He is focused on our effort. So, even on our worst days, caring for others that are on this journey with us matters. It has bearing. Kindness doesn’t take a day off.

How can you grow in kindness on those bad days in those challenging moments?

Bearings are also used in machines on a regular basis. Ball bearings are the part of a machine that reduces friction. They turn sliding friction into rolling friction, which is far more effective and prevents the machine from seizing up under the heat. Ball bearings keep things running smoothly. And so does the gift of love that we give to one another. Especially, say, during the holiday season as mentioned earlier. To care for one another in love—even when you do or receive unloving actions and words—is a gift that reduces the friction that is inevitable in relationships.

When was a time that your loved one responded with grace to your outburst, and it helped ease the friction?

Finally, as a sea captain will tell you, a bearing is a heading. It is the direction that you are pointing towards. A bearing is the measurement between you and a fixed point ahead of you. In this world, you and I will face any number of confusing and unclear decisions. We will have inadequate data and impossible circumstances to navigate through. To get hung up on making the perfect decision is an invitation to inaction and indefinite delay. Instead of worrying about making perfect decisions, always make your decisions based on the perfect bearing towards love. Within this, it is important to remember that tough love is a vital form of love and holds true to the same heading.

What does it look like for you to set your course for this new year on a path of love towards your neighbor? What will it take to grow in this in the year to come?